Hi Mom,

I know I told you not to call me anymore because I was going to say everything worth saying in this blog, including what I’m getting Dad for Christmas, because that’s why we got you that tablet LAST Christmas, so you could view this blog and those of the other, less famous members of the family. And okay, maybe I should have bought you an i-Pad instead of a Moldavian Mo-Pad, but the price was unbelievable, and none of the reviews mentioned the overheating issue. No technology is perfect. Besides, Dad says your thigh burns are healing up pretty well, so let’s agree to put that behind us.

I have so much to tell you! True, most of it happened months ago, and the fact that I haven’t updated this blog may be taken by some people that this as a “problem” with my “stupid blog-only policy.” But as I told my sisters, no policy is perfect out of the box. Look at Immigration! Compared to our national immigration policy, my blog communication strategy is going gangbusters.

Where was I? Oh, right. The last time I updated this blog, it was August. The UK edition of Afterparty came out, and there was a swell party at the Worldcon in London where the cover of the book was on a cake with a bunch of other covers. I planned to eat my own words–ha ha! Get it? — but someone else ate my cover when I wasn’t looking.

Then We Are All Completely Fine came out from Tachyon and at Audible.com and we got a bunch of nice reviews all around.

A couple weeks ago We Are All… was also in something called a Humble Bundle, which is way too complex to explain, but it basically means a bunch of people who normally would never pick up one of my books downloaded it and paid me some money because they got it alongside a Stephen King book, and because they could set their own price, and give some of what they paid to charity. That’s the way the internet works, now.

In November we got a dog. This is Mr. Banks. I know, he looks freakily similar to our previous dog. Don’t judge us.

What else? Oh, yeah, Harrison Squared, which is coming out in the US in March, also sold to Titan Books in the UK. Yep, the cake people. Not sure what the publication date is, but they just showed me the British cover, and it’s cool. They won’t let me show it to you yet, but here’s the US cover:

Then the other day, Kirkus put Afterparty on it’s Best Fiction of 2014 list. Tell Aunt Carolyn that her son isn’t on Kirkus’s best-of list.

And now you’re up to date! Mostly. There were also a bunch of sales to Germany and France and Japan, and Afterparty got optioned by this HBO producer, and a different studio is optioning We Are All… But I promise to talk more about that soon.

Oh, and your grandchildren are fine, doing whatever.

Meanwhile, I have been reconsidering this “blog-only” policy. My sisters may be right that this is not the best way for a son to communicate with his mother, and frankly, it’s too hard to keep updating the site. So I’d like to announce my New Twitter-Only Policy. I’m @darylwriterguy there. I’m pretty sure that the Mo-Pad has a twitter app that’s totally easy to use. Just keep that asbestos pad in place.

Love,

Your son.

P.S.

I’m thinking a cardigan. Dad would look good in a cardigan, right? They’re supposed to be coming back.