The Three Laws of Zombi-ism *
1. A zombie must not stop hunting and eating human beings, or through inaction, allow a human being to go uneaten.
2. A zombie must disobey all orders given to it by human beings, except when the order is to eat human beings.
* Among other things I was thinking about in the car today.
5 thoughts on “I, Zombie”
4. More Brains!!!
5. A zombie must not exceed 2mph.
I have to argue with #5. There are two types of Zombies. You got your two mile per hour classic shamblers, ala George Romero and Shaun of the Dead. Then you got your Zombies on Crank, running at you like frickin olympic sprinters and howling, as per I Am Legend and 28 Days. When the Zombie Apocalypse comes, I’m praying for shamblers.
But your Law #4? You betcha.
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Yes, there are the runners, but then there are the ones that barf on you. And when they barf on you, they attract other zombies. Proven fact- check Wikipedia!
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